Wednesday, March 1, 2006, 09:37 AM
;)
This is a basic introduction to fisting, including tips on how to do it and some important safety reminders.
What is "fisting"?
Everyone (well, almost everyone) knows what fingering is. Whether in the vagina or anus, it's tremendously enjoyable to stroke someone inside. (Fingers up a man's anus, if aimed properly, will tickle his prostate gland, which feels AMAZINGLY good... just a little tip!). People are generally comfortable with the idea of fingering with more than one finger, but not as many have been exposed to the idea of inserting a whole hand into the vagina or anus ... which is, in its simplest terms, what fisting is.
Yes, it's anatomically possible, and yes, it CAN be EXTREMELY pleasurable. You generally can get your whole hand inside your partner's vagina, and some people (male and female) are able to accommodate a hand in their anus. For those who are into massive penetration, nothing is a bigger turn-on. No experience is necessary - for either of you; but for vaginal fisting, if your gal pal is a little roomy, or has given birth in the past, you’ll have an easier time. In any case, you need to start off slow and work your way up … pun intended!
A few words of caution before you roll up your sleeves and plunge in: fisting can result in injury to the fistee if not done properly. You do NOT make a fist and ram it home. Fisting is one of the most intimate and complete ways to touch another human being and it is something that has to be worked up to slowly and gently. Not everyone is able or willing to accept fisting … respect that fact and NEVER force participation. In addition, the anus is designed as a one-way system (out) and many members of the medical community argue that any kind of excessive activity that over-stretches the anus can/will result in damage to the area … so, be informed and BE CAREFUL!
There have been many posts about fisting on bulletin boards … talking about the proper technique, the safety concerns, the fantastic feeling of openness and connection, the magical plane that two people fisting can attain ... it's an incredibly intense way to make love.
Trust and communication between partners is essential--and tons of lube helps a lot, too. Respect your partner’s limits and pain threshold. The following guide is intended for consenting adult partners who wish to engage in this act, and we assume no responsibility for possible injuries caused by, or to, those attempting it.
Some safety issues
First of all, cut and file all your nails until every finger is as smooth as it could possibly be. Your fingers will be in some very delicate places -- places that may not have pain receptors. You want to make sure you minimize all chance of causing damage.
Use latex gloves. AIDS is a matter of life and death.
For anal fisting, you will probably want to clean your bottom's GI tract out. What else are enemas for? Be gentle with enemas - warm water is best. DO NOT use detergent in enemas.
Okay, now how do you do it?
Get her/him ready.
Make sure your partner is relaxed, turned on, and comfortable. When a woman becomes aroused, her vagina relaxes, expands and lengthens; all very important for accommodating a fist.
For anal fisting, the anus must be similarly relaxed. If the receiver is not relaxed, forcing a large object like a fist in could be very painful... so make sure to relax, and take it slowly.
Use lube.
Even the wettest vagina can use some extra juice during fisting; the more, the better. The anus produces no natural lubricant, so an artificial one is MANDATORY! A latex glove can also reduce friction and is a good idea for safer sex purposes.
Use LOTS (and I mean lots) of lube. Push it in with your fingers. Make a huge mess. Get it all over your hand, the back of your hand, between your fingers. Keep applying it as you go. You can't have too much lube. (And remember, oil-based lubricants dissolve latex).
Some people like KY jelly - others say it dries out too quickly; Astroglide (available in North America) is a water-soluble lubricant which holds up well to continuous use. In the UK, a substance called "Aqueous Cream" is the crème de la crème. Others use "J-Lube," which is a powdered concentrate that when added to water produces incredibly slippery goo; it's sold in veterinary supply houses! (Some people still use Crisco with latex gloves, on the theory that the Crisco is just the best lube, and the gloves don't break down that fast. This is risky, but it's an option.)
Start slow.
Start with one or two fingers and work your way up to three and then four. Most people need some time to further relax their muscles, and some may require several stretching sessions, over weeks or even months, before you can actually get your whole hand in.
Go slowly. Start with one finger and work up. DON'T RUSH. Be sensitive to your partner's feelings. You are trying to persuade part of their body to open for you, to admit part of you deeply inside it. The energy will move back and forth, and you'll ride it, coaxing and pushing, in and out, moving your partner into a trance. Keep communicating with your partner; help them to relax and demonstrate some empathy if they are a little uncomfortable at first.
If this is anal fisting and your partner’s anus suddenly hits their limit, you'll know; their orifice will clench tight-shut suddenly. DON'T PULL OUT. Stay right where you are until the contraction ends, THEN start pulling out. You can pull a muscle or two if you try to back out in the middle of a reaction like that. If this happens, it's OK; you'll know to go slower next time (if you both want to try again). But assuming all is well...
Duck inside.
When you reach five fingers, you're almost there. Now is when you want to be most sensitive and most aware. Your partner is going to be flying on pain and pleasure; a sudden flinch and you'll find the vagina or anus doesn't want you anymore. If so, respect that - and pull out (slowly!). But if your partner wants it, then you'll slip your knuckles inside, folding your thumb *inside* your fingers, and your hand will NATURALLY form an elongated fist (think of the shape of a duck’s beak) - you DON'T need to clench your hand or anything else! (Note: be careful with your nails as you form a fist). This makes your hand into a wedge shape that allows you to gradually stretch your partner open as you press on. Apply steady but slow pressure.
Let her/him lead.
Listen to your partner and let her/him tell you when to push, when to back off, when to add more fingers, and when it’s too much. Fisting can cause muscle and tissue injuries if you go too fast or too hard. Some discomfort during fisting is normal, but you have to take her/his word on the difference between a good hurt and a bad hurt.
All the way in.
The knuckles are the widest part of the hand and the most difficult part to get past the opening of the vagina/anus. You’ll probably run into resistance at that point. Wait until your partner is ready before making the big push. She/he may be able to help by bearing down (as if giving birth or in a bowel movement). Once your knuckles slip past the ring of muscles around the vaginal/anal entrance, the pressure will ease off. Now roll your hand into a fist.
Voila!
At this point, your partner may or may not want you to make gentle pumping movements with your hand inside her/him, or stimulate her clit/penis etc. Fisting can produce extremely intense sensations, so ask her/him what feels good. When you’re done, make your hand into the wedge shape again, and gently slide out slowly and naturally!
Now the real fun begins... explore, entice, pleasure your partner’s vagina or bottom …
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( 3 / 2997 )Saturday, February 25, 2006, 01:59 AM
;)
At some stage you may want to invite your date for dinner. This is not just the domain of a woman as I fully expect men in equal measure to offer to make dinner. Remember that romance is in the details, not in the grand gestures. Offering to make dinner will not be a first date scenario because inviting someone into your home can only occur after a degree of trust has been established. Neither will offering dinner in your home be an open-invitation for sex though that can and does happen due the environment and proximity of a bedroom.
No, offering to make dinner can be a daunting affair and planning is essential if things are to go well. The first mistake people make is in trying to be too impressive. Most people can cook something of merit if they put their mind to it, but reaching for an experts guide to Filo pastry is not going to win your dates heart unless you know what you are doing.
On this occasion, do not experiment on a new dish unless you are prepared to practice prior to the occasion on a friend or two. We saw in Bridget Jones how she made blue soup with string and the same disaster will befall you my friend unless you start thinking in advance. If you are currently single, when was the last time you offered to cook for friends? It is all too easy to meet in a restaurant and is not on the same planet of romance as cooking personally. So if you are single why not sort out at least a couple of really nice dishes now so that you can prepare when the time comes. The benefit of this is that you get a social occasion this week into the bargain.
The first issue you have is getting the day right. Mid week can be fine but have you got the time to prepare adequately? Cooking dinner will generally take a little more than the usual 15 minutes meal for one in the microwave from the grocery store so get your thinking cap on. Maybe Saturday evening would be better. After all, it is not your first date and your date has agreed so you have more of the day to begin preparing.
Okay so let's agree that you have gone for a night when you can prepare with enough time not to panic. The next thing is to set the scene. Candles are essential but a room that requires a miners lamp is not light enough so don't make your date struggle to find the table. Quality candles are the key, long burning ones at that. However avoid scented candles as they can spoil the aroma of your cuisine miracle.
The table should be set properly with perhaps a small vase of flowers and certainly napkins and decent cutlery and glasses. You should be seated opposite your date and never to one side or the same side because I am assuming you would like to look at each other across a candlelit table. The music you select should be a shared taste but of muted background variety so as not to intrude on the conversation, but enough to fill any pauses in the chat, should they occur. Classical, jazz or gentle ambient are perfect sounds.
Make sure your kitchen and apartment are organized, clean and tidy and always clean up as you prepare the meal. A kitchen that looks like it has been hit by a missile doesn't instill confidence. It is essential when preparing that you have asked your date in advance what they don't like so that you can best avoid the embarrassment of a meal that someone doesn't like. A first meal can be stressful on both sides and shouldn't be - so damage limitation in advance is necessary.
Once you know what they don't like to eat you can avoid such foodstuffs and give some good thought to what you can manage to prepare. Once again we come back to the age old advice that the effect is in the effort made. Try not to recreate their favorite dish unless you really can because you invite comparison. Neither should you be too adventurous. If you are trying to prepare something that even a 5 star hotel chef would baulk at then you are inviting disaster. You may both laugh about the burnt offerings afterwards but that's not the point of the occasion. Something with no imagination like spaghetti Bolognese or Pizza is best left out of this equation.
Modern cook books display everything from fancy pastry to fusion cookery and again they are danger areas for the unpracticed so think carefully. You should go for a simple fresh starter, a main course that is not too heavy and an interesting desert, with an alternative of cheese and fruit. You need to be able to adapt the meal if necessary. Your efforts will be highly appreciated. Neither should the food overtake the purpose of the evening which is spending time with each other, so when your date arrives you should be able to produce the food in its intended format without looking like acting like a demented chemist .
Most food can be prepared in advance and simply requires warming in the oven or is completed whilst your date enjoys a glass of wine with you in the kitchen. Cooking is sociable so don't order him/her from the kitchen area with a grimace whilst shouting "too many cooks spoil the broth". On the other hand try not to invite attempts from your date to give advice. Which is why you should be organized before they arrive.
So, make sure you select three dishes you can prepare, a starter, main course and sweet dish and do one thing at a time. Some dishes require you to do than more than one thing at a time so be orderly and read the recipes in advance to understand what it is you are doing. By washing up as you go you will feel more in control and can keep the kitchen semi-clean. Your dishes should compliment each other and even better you may wish to work on a theme, like Mediterranean cookery, Cajun or something that is of interest to you both. Try and avoid hot and spicy unless you are a risk taker.
Always allow a third more time than you anticipate and give yourself enough time to get ready before your date arrive so that everything is the way you want it. You may want to try and relax before your date arrives too so do pour yourself a glass of wine and get the music on. Anticipate the evening ahead and try and think ofd things that may arise and prepare ahead.
You may wish to ask a friend round in the afternoon to assist and keep you company whilst you prepare. That way the pressure is off and you can both work to make sure everything is perfect. Don't guzzle litres of the cooking wine whilst you prepare as being drunk when your guest arrives will ruin everything.
Choose a selection of red and white wines as well as anything you know your date likes to drink. Also have some good quality mineral water that you can serve chilled at the table. Cooking for your date will not be the cheapest thing you ever did but you are trying to make a good impression so invest wisely.
Never ever pretend that you are a better chef than you are as this will become clear in the first moments of the first course that you aren't. Also don't try and offer too much food, three courses are fine. If you are even thinking of getting in an outside caterer or pre-prepared food to pretend it is your own creation, please leave the room now and don't come back! Don't start apologizing about your cooking once you both settle in. Be confident and enjoy the occasion. Take your time and don't rush the occasion. A good meal can take anything from 45 minutes to 3 hours depending on the pace and the conversation between courses.
You may be thinking that I am portraying things far too formally. This is because I am mentioning things that you may encounter. Dinner for two can be a meal on a tray in front of the TV. At the same time it can be as formal as you like. But the key thing is to ensure the evening is a relaxed affair whilst portraying any cooking competence you can. You will often see couples in restaurants feeding food to each other. This is because in nature we want to provide and demonstrate that we can, so feeding each other is a natural way of sublimely demonstrating our abilities in provision.
Eating together is one of the most intensely personal things you can do, it is about sharing and a great way to get closer. Food can be a great stimulator and provide a great sense of occasion. This is possibly why a meal for two at home can lead on to other things.
In summary, you should offer to cook for your date and you should prepare carefully. Whilst not every time you eat together in future may be on the same level of effort, this occasion will be well remembered. You are at a crucial stage in your developing relationship and so why not make the most of it. Even better, it is their turn to cook next.
Happy dining !
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( 2.9 / 2782 )Saturday, February 25, 2006, 01:20 AM
;)
You know what? People get dinner dating so badly wrong that its almost the curse of relationship startups. When you first ask someone to dinner or are asked out to dinner, immediately you enter an opulent scene in your head from James Bond; black tie, chandeliers, black dresses, jewels, exclusive eateries, credit card melt down. True, it may be opulent, it may be desirable, it may even be romantic but more than likely it will lead to dating disaster? Why, because you are not concentrating on your date!
You first few dinners should be very romantic I think so you should take note of where you are asking or being asked to attend. However if you are doing the asking you have to think about the absolutely number ONE ingredient of the night - being relaxed. If both of you guys are not relaxed over dinner then its not going to work out. Conversation will become fraught, concentrate will waiver onto the formality of surroundings or menu choices or intruding attentive waiter service and the next thing you know, the moment is lost.
Formality is a killer so avoid it, if is a place you can both get up and dance later to an in-house band then good. Certainly you should be able to retire to the bar or pop along to another place for a drink afterwards if necessary. The maitre 'd should be discreet and so I don't expect a man to walk in as if he had been therefore the last 50 years and pop a $20 bill into the man's top pocket. Its comes across as flash, crass and unsophisticated.
If you know the restaurant is good or have dined there already then it all helps relax the process. If you are a guy, unless discretion is assured, don't take consecutive dates to the same place as you are risking disaster from some unthinking comment. Make sure the restaurant you select has very good food, irrespective of price. After all, you are trying to show that you have taste and judgment. If you fancy yourself as a wine expert then ensure you do know what you are talking about. If you simply order Bollinger on the way in or a Chateau La Tour '55 then make sure you have an idea that this will go down well with your date. An opulent display of cash is generally off-putting to all except the most mercenary of people.
Although the food and ambiance is very important, the date is about interaction and conversation. As a man ALWAYS turn up on time, if not before and ALWAYS look at your date when speaking. If you want to check out the breasts of the woman at the next table then do it some other time. Show respect buddy but getting her chair and showing your class. It is not unmanly to take care of a woman. And ladies, it is not chauvinist or sexist for a man to show he cares either so get used to be treated well.
Don't order everything on the menu and don't go for anything that will splash or requires breaking such as spaghetti or lobster. If you make a mess you will look a mess too. If you date often then at least try to keep up with modern food trends such as knowing what fusion cuisine is. Extolling the virtues of mom's apple pie will get you nowhere chum. If you don't know how to work your way through the cutlery set up in a good restaurant or know which glass is for what or which side your bread plate is then you are reading this on the Internet so use the web to answer these questions too. There is absolutely no excuse for ignorance.
Try and select an establishment that doesn't require a two hour drive to get there. The best dates are quick, easy, relaxed, have spontaneity and romance. So keep that in mind when you are making plans. Never keep a lady waiting and remember that should the woman be forced to arrive first she prefers an establishment with windows so that she can see who is coming and going.
If you are a man who feels he likes to show his prowess by arguing with 'minor' staff like waiters and get people fired then that is fine at your place of work but leave it there. In a restaurant you are there to show your good side so don't start showing off how powerful you are. It is embarrassing to make a scene and there is no excuse. Occasionally things do go awry and if so things can be worked out. But causing a battle due to a spilled drink etc. just makes you look foolish and your date will want to crawl away out the door. Humor is almost always the answer to such situations.
When the bill comes the man simply pays it without checking amounts or asking questions about who had what. If you want to look cheap and remain single then carry on and get your calculator out. A woman may offer to split the bill but she rarely means it. If she does mean it, this can normally be read as indicating that though she enjoyed the date, she won't be wanting any concept of debt and is likely to not be calling you further. If the woman insists on paying the entire bill and you let her then you should be ashamed of yourself and you deserve to remain single. Its not about who can afford what, it is about displaying some chivalry and respect.
Enjoy your dinner date, enjoy the music and dancing and candlelight conversation and try and find romance. If things don't work out its okay, you simply keep dating. More nice dinners and more nice company. One of these days you will be hit by that thunderbolt.
Points to consider:
Your dinner location should be relaxed and informal or semi informal
The restaurant should not be too expensive or too flash
Research your restaurant in advance and try to ensure you have eaten there before
Above all things the food should be good
A restaurant with a lively atmosphere and an inviting host will help
Never ever argue with a waiter on a date and do tip
Always make sure you have booked a table in advance
Don't try to impress with wine unless you know what you are talking about, other wise you will look like a fool
The restaurant should not be too specialized unless you have advance information on your date's likes
Do not order for your date but make recommendations can show confidence
Any place with candlelight and soft music will help
Don't have a late dinner date unless it is convenient for both parties
A Friday night diner date opens up more possibilities than a Monday night
Never argue about the bill, if you are the man you will automatically pay. If she offers to pay half she means there is nothing owing and you will probably not see her again as its platonic
Ordering oysters and champagne on the first date makes you look like a fool
Ordering massive quantities of food will make you look greedy and uninviting and will not enamor you to your date, especially if you are not paying. A free meal ticket he may be but don't make it obvious
Never order spaghetti or lobster on a first date or anything that requires you to wear linen around the neck to prevent mess, its cools the ardor!
Feeding each other food is a mating ritual as old as the hills, its about how you will provide for each other
A restaurant too formal will prevent relaxing conversation
Leave the booze and alcohol until later, some wine or champagne is fine. Guys leave the beer in a restaurant, it shows a distinct lack of taste
Attend to your lady's chair and always sit opposite, not besides
Do not smoke in restaurants as it shows poor taste
Do everything you can to avoid coming across as conceited or arrogant in a restaurant.
If you find yourself out of your depth in an establishment tell you date and laugh about it
As a woman make sure a friend knows where you are eating and make sure you have thought of an exit strategy if required
Remember that a dinner date is primarily about eye contact, body gestures including signals and good conversation. Anything that detracts is unnecessary
A dinner date is also about socializing, so even if you are not meant to be together, enjoy the food and the company because it could have been that ubiquitous meal for one instead
Burping loudly after a meal maybe a sign of thanks in some countries but should generally be avoided unless you want to remain single
Never abandon your date to pay the bill whilst you sneak out of the fire exit. If you have to leave then say so and at least offer some explanation, even if untrue.
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( 3.1 / 2860 )Friday, February 24, 2006, 06:32 AM
How can you tell whether 2 people fit together in the long run?
There are different "fittings"
Intellectual attraction: - You vote for the same political party, you share the same taste of music, you read the same books.
Empathic attraction: - You understand each other's feelings without words. You can duplicate why the other "reacted how he reacted".
Input-Output attraction: - You have matching amounts of input (impressions) every day. You have matching amounts of talkativeness. You could talk/listen for hours.
Intelligence attraction: - You react with the same speed. Somebody tells a joke and you start to laugh in the same second. In talks nobody has to wait for the other to understand.
Genetical attraction: - Your bodies match. You like each other's smell. You will have healthy children.
Outfit attraction/Beauty attraction: - You think the otherone is pretty.
Bacteria attraction: - You have the same diseases and infections.
You can find more attractions, but you get the point: In a long lasting relationship some of these attractions may become less important while some other may become impertinent. Thus know what you are looking for.
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( 3.3 / 2991 )Thursday, February 23, 2006, 10:41 AM
;)
Penis Articles
This article is about how to increase semen volume. Why care about the volume of your semen...
Since the beginning of time, it seems humans have been fixated on the beauty and power of the penis. A symbol of manhood, strength, dominance and success, the penis and all its workings have prominently figured in the art and imagination of cultures worldwide. Yet all the attention given to penis size, erection capability and lasting power are really pretty much an adjunct to the real moment of truth: ejaculation. After all, isn't that the real goal of all the penis-centered concern, to have bigger and more potent orgasms?
That may explain why the spotlight has focused more recently on increasing semen volume during ejaculation. Men are considering not only the intensity or strength of orgasms, but how their volume of ejaculate affects many aspects of their sexual identity and enjoyment.
Overview of ejaculation
To get a sense of the vital role of a healthy, abundant volume of ejaculate in male pleasure, let's take a look at how ejaculation works.
First, semen collects in the ejaculatory ducts during sexual stimulation. Male ejaculation happens at the peak of sexual pleasure, when the various muscle groups contract simultaneously: rhythmic contractions of the pubococcygeus muscle (pc muscle) occur along with contractions of the anal sphincter, rectum and perineum, and the ejaculatory ducts and muscles around the penis. The contracting muscles are the key to delivering the load of semen. The first few contractions are intense and close together, occurring at about 0.8-second intervals. As orgasm continues, the contractions diminish in intensity and duration and occur at less frequent intervals.
The exact volume of ejaculate is determined by a number of factors, including heredity, diet, overall health, frequency of sexual activity and age. The content, however, is about the same for all men: the ejaculate contains semen and a long list of components that read like a vitamin pill label: ascorbic acid (vitamin C), calcium, chlorine, cholesterol, choline, citric acid, creatine, fructose, glutathione, hyaluronidase, inositol, lactic acid, magnesium, nitrogen, phosphorus, potassium, purine, pyrimidine, pyruvic acid, sodium, sorbitol, vitamin B12, and zinc. Each of these ingredients, though, represents just a tiny amount—and the total measure of a typical "load" is somewhere between 1.5 ml and 5 ml. The majority of the ejaculate volume is fluid from the prostate and the seminal vesicles.
The taste of semen varies greatly from one man to another, again affected by diet and overall physical health. The range goes from salty to sweet, may be bitter or mellow, and sometimes creates a very mild "numbing" effect to the lips and tongue of the taster. The taste can be deliberately changed, according to a number of online and physician's sources.
Healthy ejaculate will appear either translucently whitish or greyish to opaque white. Men who've had a vasectomy will have lighter, more translucent semen, devoid of the typical 15 to 20 million sperm of a usual ejaculation. Though a variety of textures and appearances are within the healthy range, most people equate very white, dense and more voluminous ejaculate with a healthier and more potent male.
Influences on ejaculation volume
When should a man be concerned about his ejaculate volume and potency? Sometimes a dramatic decrease in ejaculate volume may indicate blockage of one of the ejaculatory ducts. Duct obstruction is diagnosed by prostate ultrasound. Other possible causes of decreased volume include retrograde ejaculation or a long-term infection of the prostate (chronic prostatitis). Decreased semen volume may simply be a normal part of aging and may not necessarily result in decreased fertility.
If there is concern about the amount, appearance and texture of the ejaculate, it may be advisable to consider semen testing by a qualified physician. The standard semen analysis measures semen volume and pH, microscopically analyses for debris and agglutination, assesses sperm concentration and morphology, counts sperm leukoctyes and identifies immature germ cells. Usually this is carried out after two to seven days of sexual abstinence, on a semen sample collected at the doctor's office. The physician will probably also wish to conduct tests to rule out urinary infection, gonorrhea and chlamydia.
In many cases, the semen analysis yields results that are technically within the "normal" range, yet men may still feel dissatisfied with the contracting power of orgasms, the volume and appearance of their ejaculate, and their fertility.
Benefits of increasing semen volume
The advantages of orgasming with greater semen volume and power are numerous. By increasing both volume of semen and quantity/health of sperm, the load is not only bigger, more impressive and more pleasurable, but much more potent, too.
The larger the volume of semen and sperm that's available for each ejaculation, the more contractions it takes to shoot all of it—and each contraction is stronger and more intense. The male ejaculation, typically quite a brief event, can become a much longer-lasting experience.
Potency and fertility are of concern to all men, but particularly those with an immediate desire to impregnate their mate.
Finally, there are significant benefits to a man's confidence when he is able to increase ejaculate volume and power. Sexual confidence is tied not only to success in romantic endeavors, but to many other kinds of success as well; studies show confidence in sexual identity carries over into every aspect of a man's life.
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( 3 / 2406 )Wednesday, February 22, 2006, 07:26 AM
;)
In an age where sexuality is researched and discussed everywhere in great detail, female ejaculation remains something of a mystery. Despite popping up occasionally in medical literature dating right back to Aristotle, it was only officially described and recognised by Western medicine in 1980. Even today, some doubt its existence.
Rest assured, female ejaculation is real, although it seems that not every woman is capable of achieving it, and the actual "ejaculate" varies from person to person. Some women only produce a few drops, others, more than a few tablespoons.
When an ejaculating woman's G spot is stimulated (scroll down to learn more about the G Spot) to the point of orgasm, a milky, odourless, thin liquid shoots out of her urethra, sometimes in copious quantity and over relatively large distances - thus the name. This liquid has been found to be very similar to male prostate liquid, and is secreted by the Skene's glands, which flank both sides of the urethra. The liquid is NOT urine. We know this because when a woman has an orgasm, the pubococcygeus muscle contracts, stopping any flow of urine that may want to occur. So it's normally not possible to urinate during orgasm.
Women who can ejaculate describe the feelings immediately beforehand as being similar to the desire to urinate. Apparently the secret to successful ejaculation is ignoring the urge to "close off in case of accidents" and, instead going with the flow. When ejaculation accompanies an orgasm, the sensation is said to be far more intense than a regular climax.
Doctors have not been able to give any explanation for female ejaculation, other than it being purely for pleasure. Research is still going on into what exactly happens during ejaculation.
The G Spot
The G Spot was named by John Perry and Beverley Whipple in their 1982 book The G Spot and Other Recent Discoveries About Human Sexuality. They named the area after Dr Ernst Grafenberg, a German doctor who first described it in 1950 (although, as with most aspects of female sexuality, it had been "discovered" earlier and then ignored).
The G Spot is an area on the anterior (front) wall of the vagina about two inches from the entrance. This area, directly behind the clitoris and along the urethra, becomes enlarged when stimulated. It can be felt as a raised area on the vaginal wall.
Most sex manuals recommend manual stimulation of the G Spot via the insertion of a finger up to the second knuckle, and the movement of the finger back and forward in a "come hither" motion. As mentioned above, many women develop the urge to urinate when the G spot is stimulated. It's a good idea to empty the bladder before trying this. Short fingernails and good lubrication are also recommended.
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( 2.8 / 2596 )Tuesday, February 21, 2006, 03:37 AM
;)
Analingus: The Curious Lovers' Guide to Oral-Anal Contact
Not everybody feels comfortable with the thought of kissing or licking their lover's anus, or with having it done to them. But the fact is, many lovers are curious about oral-anal contact -- known as analingus and casually called "rimming" -- and often feel surprised by their interest, but when they try it, some become enthusiastic about it.
Many lovers have an accidental introduction to analingus during cunnilingus, since the bottom of the vaginal entrance is quite close to the anus. Sometimes a little lick meant for the lower vagina slips further south than intended, and the recipient experiences unexpected delight -- and sometimes a surprisingly powerful urge to explore analingus further.
For other lovers, interest in rimming develops from anal play. The most popular anal activities are sphincter massage and fingering, and many people also enjoy butt plugs and penis-anus intercourse. But as people explore other forms of anal eroticism, many warm up to the idea of analingus.
Another Way to Play
There is absolutely nothing wrong with or abnormal about rimming. If you feel tempted to condemn it, remember that, not too long ago, oral sex was considered a disgusting perversion and was outlawed in many states. Now oral sex is so widely accepted that about three-quarters of Americans say they have performed it on a lover and had it performed on them. In fact, many couples don't make love without it.
Rimming may not ever become as popular as oral sex, but in recent years Americans have become somewhat more sexually experimental. In fact, surveys suggest that around fifteen percent of American adults -- more than twenty million people -- have experienced some form of anal sex play. There are no statistics specifically on rimming, but as people become more comfortable with sexual experimentation in general, and anal play in particular, it should come as no surprise that many heterosexuals and homosexuals alike are expressing curiosity about analingus.
Why Analingus Feels Erotic
The anus and surrounding tissue are richly endowed with nerves that are highly sensitive to gentle, playful, loving touch. The same is true for the lips and tongue, and when you put these areas together, the combination can be powerfully erotic.
Another reason anal stimulation feels erotic is the pelvic floor muscles, which lie beneath the surface of the anal area. These muscles play an important role in sex and are the ones that contract during orgasm. Using a sex toy, finger or tongue to massage or insert into the anus stimulates the pelvic floor muscles and heightens overall erotic sensations.
Finally, sex draws a good deal of its emotional power from lovers' wholehearted acceptance of each other. Analingus involves acceptance of an area that's often not accepted -- in fact, one that's usually rejected. Analingus becomes a way for the giver to say: " I love all of you. No part of your wonderful body turns me off." And it's a way for the receiver to say:" I'm totally yours. No part of me is off limits to you." This level of mutual acceptance can be a powerful turn-on.
Raising The Issue
If you're interested in rimming, raise the issue before you dive in. Some couples prefer to discuss sexual experimentation in nonsexual settings. Others like to discuss experimentation while making love. Raise the issue in whatever way feels the most comfortable to you in your relationship.
If you and your lover have open and frank sexual communication, you might simply announce that you'd like to try analingus. On the other hand, if you feel reluctant to admit your interest -- the case for many -- you might raise the issue indirectly, perhaps by mentioning offhandedly that you read something about it on MyPleasure.com and asking what your lover thinks of it.
If your honey grimaces, chances are that analingus won't become part of your intimate repertoire. Never pressure a lover to try rimming if he or she doesn't want to. But if your lover shows any interest, even if it's couched in skepticism and concern about hygiene, you may detect enough of an opening to pursue the issue, allay your lover's concerns and perhaps introduce it into your lovemaking.
If you decide to experiment with analingus, you also need to discuss who's interested in which role. Some people are interested in only one side of a rimming interaction; others feel equally comfortable in both roles. Before you begin, be sure you're clear on who does what.
The Big Fear: Fecal Contact
Because the anus is intimately involved in defecation, many people assume that oral-anal contact must involve contact with feces. This is possible. Even with good wiping, traces of fecal material may cling to the anus and the skin around it.
However, careful personal hygiene minimizes exposure. San Francisco sex therapist Jack Morin, Ph.D., author of the now-classic Anal Pleasure & Health, insists that the anus, anal canal and rectum usually contain surprisingly little stool. Most fecal material is stored above the rectum in the descending colon. When stool moves into the rectum, you feel "the urge," and it then passes out of the body fairly quickly. Most of the time, when you feel no urge to defecate, there are only trace amounts of stool in the rectum, anal canal and anus -- traces that can easily be washed out.
The Infection Connection
Another important consideration is the possibility of analingus exposing the giver to digestive tract bacteria. The digestive tract is home to millions of bacteria that assist in digestion, notably E. coli. These micro-organisms get incorporated into stool and can be found in and around the anus. Although they help with digestion, they might also cause infection. If E. coli come in contact with the vagina or urethra, t he woman might develop a vaginal infection (bacterial vaginosis) or a urinary tract infection (UTI, also known as cystitis or bladder infection). That's why a standard recommendation is that anything that comes into contact with the anus should not then touch the vulva or vagina.
The digestive tract might also contain other harmful micro-organisms that can be spread during oral-anal contact. Among them:
Other bacteria. Two significant germs are Shigella and Salmonella, which cause food poisoning. These germs can cause acute and often vicious diarrhea, and it's possible for someone with mild symptoms to transmit the infection to someone else who develops severe symptoms.
Intestinal parasites, notably Giardia lamblia, and amoebas, both of which cause diarrhea.
Viruses, notably HIV (the AIDS virus) and the one that causes hepatitis A. HIV typically spreads through blood-to-blood contact. Anal tissue bleeds easily, particularly in the estimated one-third of American adults who have hemorrhoids. (These varicose veins of the anal canal sometimes cause pain, but frequently do not, so affected individuals may not know they have them.) If HIV-contaminated blood enters the mouth of a someone who has a minor injury -- bleeding gums, for example -- the infection might be transmitted.
Fun Without Fear
Because infections such as HIV can be transmitted during analingus, it's crucial that lovers who play this way take prudent precautions:
~ Wash thoroughly. Before any sexual encounter involving oral-anal play, the area around and inside the anus should be carefully washed with soap and water.
~ Consider showering together. Washing is good, but showering together is even better. Not only is it sensual foreplay, but you can both make sure everything is clean and ready to go.
~ Consider an enema. For an extra margin of hygiene safety, the recipient might want to try an enema before washing. Enemas rinse the rectum and anal canal, removing most traces of fecal material. They're easy to use, especially the disposable enemas available over the counter from pharmacies. Simply insert the flexible nozzle into the anus while on your hands and knees and gently squeeze the bottle, pushing the fluid into the rectum. After a few minutes, sit on the toilet and allow the fluid to drain out. The bottle can be refilled with warm water and reused.
~ Dam it. Dental dams are thick sheets of latex rubber that work like a condom, acting as a physical barrier between the anus and the mouth. They may feel awkward to use at first, but, like condoms, they can be incorporated into analingus easily with a little practice and a sense of humor. Dental dams are available at most pharmacies, or you can simply buy unlubricated condoms or latex gloves and cut them into flat sheets. In a pinch, you can also use plastic food wrap. To heighten pleasure, massage a little sexual lubricant into your lover's anus before applying the dam.
~ Rinse after. After analingus without a dam, be sure to rinse your mouth with an antiseptic mouthwash or, at the very least, water.
In truly monogamous couples, where both people are confident that neither has hepatitis, HIV or intestinal parasites, the only real risk of analingus is contact with digestive bacteria -- and enemas and careful washing virtually eliminates this. For healthy, monogamous couples who practice careful anal hygiene, the risk of analingus causing infection or illness is "extremely low." Consider your situation carefully. Discuss it. Then decide for yourselves the appropriate level of precautions you want to take.
Analingus Techniques and Tips
Certain positions allow oral-anal contact with a minimum of contortions:
- Knees and elbows. The person receiving pleasure assumes the position typically used for rear-entry (doggie style) intercourse, while his or her lover kneels or squats behind. Either partner may gently spread the cheeks to expose the anus.
- Standing bent over. The person on the receiving end stands and bends at the waist, and his or her partner kneels, sits or squats behind.
- Lying supine. The person being licked lies on his or her back, legs bent, knees drawn up to the chest or apart, while the other lover squats or lies on his or her stomach. It often helps in this position to place a pillow under the recipient's hips, which raises the anus and allows for easier access.
- Sixty-nine. Compared with mutual oral-genital contact, mutual analingus requires somewhat more physical flexibility, but many people enjoy this position.
Once you're both in position for analingus, here are some tips on technique:
- Take it slow. Some recipients enjoy having their partner plunge into analingus. But unless they specifically request it, you should approach this highly sensitive area slowly. Massage, kiss, and lick the person's lower back, thighs, hips, and buttocks as you slowly work your way towards his or her anus. A slow approach builds anticipation for what's about to happen and often heightens the eroticism of analingus.
- Use your lips. Kiss your lover's anus and the area around it.
- Use the flat of your tongue. Press it against your partner's anus.
- Use the tip of your tongue. Wiggle it around the anus, slip it inside and move it in and out or wiggle it around in circles.
From Rimming to Other Forms of Anal Play
As mentioned earlier, some lovers discover analingus while involved in other forms of anal play. For others, analingus might be their introduction to anal eroticism. If analingus makes you curious about other aspects of anal sex, see MyPleasure's article, Introducing Anal Sex, as well as the Introducing Anal Sex Anal Collection of sex toys specifically designed to enhance backdoor fun.
Whatever you and your lover ultimately decide about analingus, discussing it can deepen the intimacy you share. You will learn more about yourself and each other. You will become clearer about what you're willing and unwilling to try. In the end, as it were, these discussions will help you feel closer to one another and better able to experience whatever sexual pleasure you both enjoy.
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( 2.9 / 3038 )Monday, February 20, 2006, 01:26 AM
Hi everybody!
how are you doing?
I'm happy to announce that I just launched new BBW Blog - Cool Fatty. As you may guess it's totally dediced to larger ladies and men who dig on them. BBW sex pictures, videos, bbw porn sites reviews and much much more! Even if you are not a bbw lover simply check it out to watch some free porn.;-))
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( 3.1 / 2839 )Sunday, February 19, 2006, 10:43 AM
OK, as I promised a few words about OutPersonals))
The gay online dating community is growing at extraordinary proportions and the websites that are available have gotten better and better. Although OutPersonals is not the top website, it is a very good online dating site in general and should be considered if you’re looking for someone, but feel that you’ll be lost in the shuffle in a larger dating site.
OutPersonals starts off your experience with some adult photos and a very confusing homepage. It seems to be a mostly men oriented site from the menu options, but it’s hard to tell. A lot of the setup is kind of weird, but in a few minutes you can kind of tell what you’re able to do. There are forums and chats, as well as a magazine and personal blogs. The variety is great and seems to be geared toward a total dating and living experience and not just sex.
But OutPersonals is also geared to more varied sexual experiences. The menu options include groups and many other combinations of preferences, so if your thing is a bit wilder, then this is certainly the place for you to come. Every fetish (that I can think of in my simple mind) is covered and you can enjoy erotic chats with one other person or a whole bunch of people that interest you. The sky’s really the limit and it seems that if you can think it, you can do it here.
You can start off with a free membership and window shop for a while. Many members have posted some wonderful pictures (and some nudes) that are sure to entice an interested single. At OutPersonals , embracing your sexuality is the name of the game, so you can feel free to explore and have questions answered by their great customer service feature.
And like other international dating websites, you can view OutPersonals in a number of languages—English, French, Italian, Spanish, German, Japanese, Dutch, and Portuguese. If you want to meet someone discreetly, then the opportunity is there. You can be as anonymous or as forthcoming as you like on this website. With over 1,530,600 active members, you are almost guaranteed to find a person (or five) that you will share interests with, even if you don’t want a long term or committed relationship. One of the times I was looking around the website, there were 5,809 members on line--and that was at eight ‘o’ clock in the morning. I can only imagine if I had looked into a Friday night.
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( 3.2 / 3939 )Saturday, February 18, 2006, 08:52 AM
Online Dating Service for Gay Men
So you want to meet gay men? Well, you're in luck.
There are thousands and thousands of gay men who have placed personal classifieds at the Gay FriendFinder. List yourself at it too and you'll meet someone very soon!
GayFriendFinder.com is one of the newest and fastest growing sites in the FriendFinder Network. It joins OUTPersonals.com (I will write about it tomorrow) among the gay male personals sites, but caters more towards relationships and serious dating, in a PG-rated meeting environment without the nudity. Yet GayFriendFinder.com has all of the features and functionality – such as chat, anonymous e-mail and powerful search tools.
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VISIT GAY FRIENDFINDER
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