Thursday, June 22, 2006, 05:45 PM - Relationship Advice Articles
The Five Stages Of Love
What are the stages of love? Love develops between two partners in several different levels. For love to endure, each level is important.
Let's break it down into five stages:
(1) attraction, (2) romance, (3) passion, (4) intimacy, & (5) commitment.
ATTRACTION - a positive response to a person beyond friendship. This can further be broken down into two areas: (a) physical attraction & (b) emotional attraction.
a. Physical Attraction - happens when your body reacts to another person. Heart rate increases; temperature rises, palms get sweaty; stomach flutters; throat tightens; etc. This is the most superficial of "loves" on one level, but one of the most powerful on another. It represents the first contact.
b. Emotional Attraction - develops next if the circumstances are right. After being drawn to a person physically, you then begin to converse. If you find you have things in common -- hobbies, ideologies, career, education, or some other common ground -- then an emotional attraction starts to form.
An emotional attraction can also occur even when a physical attraction does not. And in this case, the bond may even be stronger between the two who connect, since no preconceived notions based on physical appearance has occurred.
ROMANCE - essentially an act of trying to influence or gain favor of another by lavishing attention or gifts upon them. There are two type of romance: (a) selfish romance & (b) selfless romance.
(a) Selfish Romance - occurs when you do romantic acts solely for the purpose of gaining something for yourself -- like to get gifts, to impress someone else, or even simply for sexual favors whether your partner is interested or not.
(b) Selfless Romance - occurs when you do romantic acts for the enjoyment and pleasure of your partner. You receive your enjoyment and pleasure through their happiness.
Selfish romance (& love) will quickly die out. Selfless romance (& love) will endure. Because romance is an "act," many couples who have been together a long time take it for granted. With a conscious effort, it can be rekindled.
PASSION - a desire for another person, which has grown to an intensity that can't be ignored. This is often where an emotional relationship turns into a physical relationship. The passion stage is very important. It's a plateau.
From here, the relationship will fork into two roads, and the couple must decide which path to take. The relationship will either burn itself out or will move onto the next stage.
INTIMACY - a close association with another person of the deepest nature. You share you thoughts, your feelings, your dreams. In true intimacy, there is nothing that you cannot tell this person (though we often hesitate because of our own unfounded fears).
Intimacy is not total in one swoop. It is a developing process, which never ends. If you can't establish intimacy with your partner, your relationship may work for a while, but is unlikely to endure throughout the years.
COMMITMENT- a pledge to remain true to your mate throughout good and bad times. Commitment is easy when times are good. Commitment can be extremely difficult when times are bad. Learn to ride out the bad times.
If you've made it this far, why give up? Listen to each other, be willing to compromise, and remember why you got together in the first place.
Love is worth the effort ...
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( 3 / 2354 )Wednesday, June 21, 2006, 03:33 PM - WebCams
;)
Let me start with several visitors feedback i found online:
imLive is a very active webcam site in the way that they often have theme party during the weekend when participating girls will dress according to the theme/kink. So no matter you like bondage, teen in school uniform, French maid, ladies in boxing outfits, they may have a party for it. (Judy)
If you are both viewer and exhibitionist, you can even turn on your webcam at home and allow the chathost to see you. This is what they call "CamToCam". (Tomy)
There are plenty of girls who will use sex toys, so you can get the full view of all the action. (Doctor)
REVIEW
If you check out imlive you'll find a very large selection of hosts, this is really one of the largest sites out there.
Browse a range of subjects, not just adult chat
Community-based video chat site Imlive is unique in that it almost seems like a non-adult chat site at first. But once you are inside you will see one of the best-run video chat/webcam sites anywhere ... and with some of the best performers - and rates - of any site.
Imlive is a community chat site offering advice in numerous categories - mostly non-adult, but the sex-related section is what we are talking about here ... They offer a huge selection of performers with fan clubs, video archives, e-mail, alerts, favorites lists and icons showing which camhosts have fast connections and high quality video feeds.
The first thing I noticed about Imlive is that it appears to be a mainstream chat site, however, you'll quickly discover that the adult section is easily their bread and butter. Like iFriends and CamContacts, these are mostly home-based performers
Once you browse through the Girl Alone and new Shy Girl Alone sections, you'll see there are quite a collection of sexy camhosts available. The downside, like all community-based sites with home-based camhosts, is that the quality can suffer if the connection is not up to par. You'll also find that some hosts are far better performers than others!
On the downside, the search function isn't great and the navigation can leave you lost at times. But the variety of performers, ability to free text chat, post messages, photo/video gallery's and icons denoting high speed connections and good quality video, make up for it.
Of course it's the adult areas that have the most going on and which I'm interested in, and there is plenty in there believe me. Under a category called "Sexual Stress-Relief Hosts" -- which is pretty direct -- they have subcategories a bit like camcontacts. There are "Girl Alone" (shy or not) and "Girl and Guy (Couples)" through to the really special areas like Fetish.
Girls alone can have hundreds in that category so there are search filters to let you find just the girl you want -- teens only or Asians or blonds for example. Not as many as ifriends but still plenty.
One big feature is their "top hosts" where they have "Hall Of Fame & Award Winners". And even a special category for the five star winners.
That's right they spend a lot of time ranking girls -- though you get to do that after every show. Of course this really motivates the girls to put and and please me because they know if they do I'll give them a vote and that helps get them on the top hosts list.
It's worth checking out the hall of fame for the really top girls.
Imlive Profile page
When it comes time to get serious you gotta buy some credits. Billing is via ccbill like lots of companies so your credit card bill will say "Ccbill" on it.
Basically you wanna buy credit it blocks of $10. Don't buy too much coz credits expire and their aint no discount anyway for buying more.
Then you are ready to play -- feel free to drop straight into video chat. The first 20 seconds are free which is great coz you can check the girl out and make sure she's decent looking before getting down to serious stuff without spending anything.
They do a "Happy hour" thing where top girls are rotated through what is basically a discount area. At any one time between 2 and 8 girls are working happy hour and chats are cheap at only 1.48/min but are not private; up to 3 viewers can chat with the girl at the same time.
Customer service is pretty good, you can call toll free to their customer support (from just about anywhere, not just the US).
Even without credit you can see some of the galleries of each girl, but once you have got some $ in your account -- even 10 bucks -- you can then see ALL the galleries.
The video uses an ActiveX control, so first time you do video you are going to have to approve an ActiveX from "Sobonito Investments" -- that's the name of the company who owns imlive.
This gives you video -- two ways if you want it -- plus audio.
Only technical problems I've found are that some of the pages fail to load and you have to hit refresh to make it come up. That's just while browsing, the video at imlive works fine all the time I've tred.
Features:
- In August, 2005 Imlive released 5 new versions of the site in Français, Español, Deutsch, Italiano and Portuguës. Now you can sign up, browse and chat in your native language.
- The Multi-Action Live Viewer which allows you to watch multiple live shows at once.
- Live chat rooms are all Flash-based now which generally means smoother, clearer video.
- Last, but not least, Recorded Live Sessions: Chat hosts can now record videos from live chat sessions and so can you, the customer.Watching pre-recorded live shows cost 30% less than standard chat rates.
Pros:
- imlive has about 350 to 500 chathosts online
- imlive has many categories of webcam for you to choose from (see table below)
- imlive has cheap discounted show - the Happy Hour webcam show
- imlive lets you vote and rate your chathosts such that the webcam girls are all rated and ranked. Their ranking is shown on the "who's online now" page so you know who is popular.
- imlive has lots of theme parties
- imlive is a place for all colors, all nationalities and both amateur and pro models to show off.
Cons:
- The screen size of the video is a bit small compare to most other adult webcam sites
- Yeah, it's a paysite ;-)
VISIT THE SITE
Here's a complete list of all ImLive Niche Hosts:
- Girls Alone
- Amateurs
- Fetish
- Lesbians
- Asian
- Teen
- Couples (Hardcore)
- Black
- Gay
- Big Boobs
- Tranny
- MILF
- BBW
Best, Dalila
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( 3.1 / 2897 )Wednesday, May 3, 2006, 02:11 PM
Hi guys!
...thought I should make a short announcement ;-))
I just launched a new TGP - http://ladymf.com/ - absolutely free place daily updated
with mature, fat and big tits pictures and movies
Simply go to the main page or choose your category from the list below:
BBW Pictures
BBW Videos
Big Tits pictures
Big Tits Videos
Mature Pictures
Mature Videos
Granny Pictures
Granny Videos
Enjoy!
any feedback is appreciated ;-))
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( 2.9 / 2976 )Friday, April 28, 2006, 12:29 PM
Find an adult in your area to have romance or sex with at Adult Friend Finder!
Adult Friend Finder allows you to meet singles online for cybersex or real life sex. Explore the erotic lifestyle of millions of people through our Nude Photos and thousands of sexy webcam videos. At this time site count over 24,815,163 active members around the world!
62,666 Members online NOW and 150,392 New Photos this week!
Registration at Adult Friend Finder is pretty easy and fast. You have to provide your sex, what sex you are interested in (male, female, ts/tv, couples, group), the categories of sex you are looking for (erotic chat/email/phone fantasies, discreet relationship, 1-on-1 sex, group sex, other alternative activities), birthday, country, zip code, email and a handle. Then you get to fill out a profile with the following information: maritial status, sexual orientation, height, body type, race, smoking, drinking, education, endowment, an introduction, describe yourself and describe what you are looking for. Once you fill all that out, you receive your password that is quickly received to your email box.
As a free member, you are limited in your ability to initiate contact, read full profiles and view full-size pictures. You can choose to upgrade your account by signing up for the premium Silver or Gold Membership. In Silver Membership, you receive faster profile and photo reviews, email of new matching members (the "Cupid" service), up to 10 matches, technical support by email within 24 hours and emails viewable for 60 days. In Gold Membership, you receive top of each list of members (5x more views), super-search for members using our "priority" form, Get ICQ, AIM, YIM & MSN ID's of members, faster profile and photo reviews, email of new matching members (the "Cupid" service), Complete list (20+), technical support by email within 12 hours and emails viewable for 120 days. You can pay monthy, every three months or once a year.
MY IMPRESSIONS
Navigation of Adult Friend Finder is pretty easy. At the top and bottom of each page are links to home, account, browse, search, chat, groups, friends, hotlist, shop, magazine and help. The home page is filled with links that may be of interest each time you log in such as how many new messages are in your inbox, who’s online, chat room and local groups in your area. On the account page, you can update your profile, add a picture, upload a voice introduction, record a video introduction and set preferences. You can browze other member profiles by state and by country. Several options are given depending on what your sex is and what sex you are looking for. The search page gives you more options to look for such as age, city, zip code and sexual orientation. Browsing and searching results can take time to load unless you refine every detail. You get more options if you upgrade.
Adult Friend Finder has dozens of text chat rooms based on location. The United States currently has 23 seperate chat rooms. If you upgrade, you can even have your own private chat room and run your webcam while chatting. You can join a local or topical group to meet similiar people, participate in discussions or plan parties. Topics range from advice and beer to swinging and voyeurism. You can also start your own group if you want to. You can invite people to your Friends Network, which is located on the friends page. You and your friends can share announcements and private photo albums. You can add members to your hotlist for easy access at a later date. The magazine offers advice, erotic stories and interviews by the staff. Members can also submit their own advice, fantasies and success stories for other members to enjoy.
The audio introductions require Windows Media Player and the length varies from twenty seconds to one minute. The clearity varies from static to clear and sound like they are talking on the phone. The video introductions require Flash to play and do not have sound. The viewing area is small and the quality varies depending on how good the other person’s webcam was while filming the video. While most of the video introductions are males, there are some with female and couples. The video introduction for bifstr8male4cpl shows a chubby brunette wearing glasses sucking a cock. Some members even have two video introductions.
Adult Friend Finder has three levels of membership: free, silver and gold. Free membership allows members to search for others on a limited basis and the full use of the chat rooms. Silver membership allows you to ralso receive notices of ten new matches. Gold membership is the best deal and allows to receive a complete list of new matches. The prices in this review is for the gold membership.
For dating sites, Adult Friend Finder is the cream of the crop. You will a wide variety of people looking for a good time anywhere in the world.
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( 3.2 / 1431 )Friday, April 7, 2006, 01:51 AM
Hi, guys! Sorry for long absence... was a bit busy last days))
many excuses and I promise to post some really outrageous photos!
what about a nasty story for tonight?
GANG BANG
I could see my mans eyes watering, ass he worked hard on the large member of our now close friend. It did not take long before i noticed joes ball sack start to shrink and cock start to really throb. I knew it would not be long untill he blew his load and i was wet as fuck in antisapation. With that he grapped my mans head and screamed "Don't waist this bitch!" and his load was realised in Josh's mouth.
Carol screamed to him to spit it into my mouth and she held my head to the ground and opened my mouth. Josh turned over and put his lips to mine and kissed me. The hot load filled our mouths as we kissed. "Don't fucking swallow a drop bitch!" carol ordered. " Thats mine to eat!" she pushed Josh's head away and and put her head down. "Get up and split it in you fucking little bitch!" So i stood up and let the cum slide out of my mouth and into hers. She went crasy with excitment, rubbing her self and spreading the man juice all over her face.
"Right you little white slut, suck me hard again!" Joe ordered. I moved over to him and started to suck his cock, i could taste the cum on his shaft as i inserted his limp shaft into my mouth. Mean while as i worked on him Josh was hard at hork fucking Carol. She was really starting to squeal in a rage of pasion as his dick got deeper and deeper in her ass. I was getting distracked with her moans of excitment when Joe pulled out of my mouth and yelled "You will have plenyt of time to watch your hubby later whore. Right now you can lick my ass!" he knelt down behind Josh and I got to work on his ass. I could see his head poping up and down ass I licked his ass. I looked over for a second and saw him licking josh's ass as i did his.
"What you do to me I'll will do to you hubby, bitch!" With that i started to really work his hole, licking it and spltting in it really lubbing it up so i could insert a finger or 2. I started pushing my tounge in to his ass as i played with his balls, then i moved my tounge and pushed 2 fingers into him. I worked then in and out hard and fast. I knew my man was getting the same treatment cause i could hear him moan.
...to be continued
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( 3.2 / 2854 )Monday, March 27, 2006, 01:24 AM
One day a man went on a buissness trip to Florida.
He had saw this hooker and he asked "How much for a hand job?"
The hooker replied "100 Bucks"
The man said "100 Bucks, That's a lot of got damn money"
So the hooker pulled him to the side and said "See that Mercedes, I paid for that by giving hand jobs."
So he gave her the money and received the best hand he had ever had.
The next day he sees her and asks "How much for a head job?"
She said "200 dollars"
"200 dollars that's a lot of money"
She pulled him to the side and said "You see that yahat by the pier, I paid for that yahat by giving head jobs."
So he gives her the money, and get the best head job of his life
On hist last day in Florida he returns to the hooker and says "The hand job was good, the head job was great how much for the whole package."
"1000 dollars'
"1000 dollars that's a lot of god damn money"
So she pulled him to side and said "You see that island, I could afford that if i had a pussy."
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( 3 / 2453 )Monday, March 13, 2006, 08:28 PM
Members of the Taliban look at online classified ads in search of their perfect mate.
Below is a screen shot of the secret dating site where lonely Taliban men find the women of their dreams.
You MUST see it )) LOL
TALIBAN SINGLES
I don't know who created this picture but whowever it was - thanks for the laugh.
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( 3.7 / 4420 )Sunday, March 12, 2006, 08:24 PM
;)
Masturbation gives women the opportunity to explore their body while at the same time giving them a high degree of sexual freedom. It allows women the opportunity to experience sexual pleasure without relying on a partner, and to release sexual tension when they feel the need to. Masturbation can be very empowering teaching tool for women, it teaches them about their bodies, and how it responds to sexual stimulation. Many normal and healthy women only experience orgasm while masturbating, or it is their most intense type of orgasm. Masturbation is the first and most important sexual skill a woman should learn, as it holds the key to enjoying other forms of sexual activity. Ideally, this skill is learned prior to the age of five, but far too often it is not learned until a women is in her late teens or early twenties. This stems from the incorrect notion that children are entirely devoid of sexuality and they are to be protected from the 'evils' of sexuality. Children, especially infants, are incredibly curious individuals who will undoubtedly discover masturbation on their own. A parent, if they catch their child masturbating, should not chastise their child for it, but rather, tell them about private and public actions.
In spite of the sexual revolution, female masturbation is still somewhat taboo. Even though popular songs, movies, and television shows make mention of female masturbation, or the use of vibrators or dildos, it is not a common topic of discussion. Men and women are more likely to make mention of boys and men masturbating than girls and women. It is given that men and boys masturbate, but for girls and women, even though it is commonly accepted that it is okay for them to do it, they are not expected to. If a woman does not know that her peers masturbate and that they presume that she does, she is less likely to do it, or if she does, she feels guilty for doing it. Even if it is acceptable to do something, people are less likely to do it if they do not know that their peers do it. Since women do not generally talk about it, it is presumed that they do not masturbate.
A common misconception of women is that because they have a partner, they do not feel they should have to; or if they are single, masturbating would substantiate their single status. If they were not single, they would not have to masturbate. So instead of masturbating, they go in search of a partner. Which is not the solution and typically results in unfulfilled desires.
Since masturbation is seen as a "solo" activity, some women with partners do not feel it is appropriate for them to masturbate. If you have a partner, it is believed that your sexual activities with them should fulfill all your sexual needs. While a nice ideal, in real life, a lot of women's sexual needs are not met fully by their partner, no matter how good and loving a partner they have. For women with partners, it is important that they understand that it is perfectly healthy and normal for them to masturbate, and they should do so without feeling guilty. For many, if not most women, the frequency at which they masturbate should not change when they go from being single to having a sexual partner. Some women find they masturbate more when they have a partner, as having a partner makes them feel more sexual, and increases their desire for sex and sexual pleasure.
There are times in all relationships when your partner is not available for sex when you desire it, even when they sleep beside you. Couples frequently have different levels of sex drive, and expectations regarding physical intimacy. This is why women frequently masturbate secretively in the shower, or masturbate silently in the early morning hours while their sleeping partner lies beside them. Masturbating when you have a partner is normal and a woman should not feel ashamed for doing so, most women have probably done it at some point in their relationship. It is often a necessity. Forgoing masturbation and sexual pleasure because you have a partner does harm to you and your relationship because you will slowly begin to blame them for your sexual frustration. As your sexual frustration grows, so does your frustration with the relationship.
While it is extremely untrue, the majority of people believe that women are less sexual than men. We are led to believe that women think about sex and desire sex much less. Society creates outcasts of women who are openly sexual. This results in women believing they should not have strong sexual feelings and desires. Unfortunately, many women are ashamed to admit they become horny. This results in women introverting and denying their own sexual feelings and desires. While a woman's desire for sex may change with time as the result of hormonal influences, they are just as sexual as men. If a woman accepts that she is equally as sexual as a man, she is more likely to feel comfortable with her desire to masturbate.
The main reason a woman should masturbate is because it feels good. Women with strong sex drives may masturbate frequently, but they do so because it feels good, not because they are driven to. If it did not feel good, it is not likely that they would, no matter how aroused they were. A woman should not forgo masturbating just because she does not have a strong sex drive. Even if you have no desire for partner sex, you should still enjoy giving yourself pleasure. The fact that preadolescent girls masturbate proves that hormonally induced sex drives are not the only reason to masturbate. Young girls do it for no other reason than it feels good. Since it does feel good, there is no reason to expect women not to. There is nothing wrong with a woman giving herself pleasure on a daily basis, or less often if she so desires. For masturbation to be pleasurable, it does not have to end in orgasm. Masturbation may involve nothing more than placing your hands against your vulva when you go to sleep at night, because it feels good.
I do not want people to get the impression based on the above statements that all women have negative views of masturbation, or that all women need to masturbate. Women are increasingly developing very positive attitudes towards masturbation and the pleasure it can bring them. If given the opportunity, women will often discuss their masturbation habits with pride, without the least amount of guilt.
;)
Basic Masturbation Techniques
Women and girls masturbate in an endless list of ways. Common methods are, massaging of the clitoris with hands and fingers, rubbing the vulva up against pillows, bed cloths, stuffed animals, and furniture, etc. The vagina appears to play a limited role in the masturbation practices of women, but vaginal penetration during masturbation is by no means unusual or uncommon. Some women employ anal and/or nipple stimulation in addition to clitoral and vaginal stimulation.
It is important to understand that there is no "correct" or "right" way to masturbate. Some women feel they should be able to masturbate to orgasm using a different or more correct method because they hear other women do it that way. It is important to keep in mind that each woman's anatomy is slightly different and her psychological makeup is quite different. This results in every woman masturbating differently, even if they use the same basic technique. While some women can masturbate to orgasm employing several different techniques, others find they can reach orgasm only when they use the same method each time. There is nothing wrong with this. Due to conditioning and the differences in women's bodies, learning new techniques for some can be difficult or even impossible. If you are orgasmic with your current masturbation technique, feel free to experiment, but do not feel you have to reach orgasm in other ways. Remember, masturbation is supposed to be fun and enjoyable, no matter how you do it.
The Beginner
When you have relaxed your body, lie on a bed, or sit in a comfortable chair, and explore your nude or semi-nude body. Run your fingers and hands across your body. Explore your breasts and play with your nipples. Caress your legs and thighs. Cup your vulva in your hand and gently rub in small circles. Stimulate your body, but do not try to reach orgasm. Make yourself feel good. If you feel yourself get tense, stop what you are doing, breath deeply, and relax. Do this exercise as often as possible, but for no longer than 20 minutes per session. Do not tire or stress yourself out. The point of this exercise is to make you feel good while staying relaxed, not to have an orgasm. You want to feel a little aroused, but at peace, not compelled to go further.
After you become comfortable exploring and touching your body you will want to try more direct means of stimulating your vulva. Slip your fingers between the folds of your vulva and massage and play with your inner labia, perhaps pulling on them lightly or firmly. Slip your fingers up to the top of your vulva and place them on top of your clitoris. Gently move your fingers up and down, around, and perhaps even wildly jiggle them. Make the loose tissue covering your clitoris slide across the body and glans of your clitoris. If you feel a need to be filled, insert a finger or two into your vagina. You want to make yourself feel really good, but you do not want to intentionally try to have an orgasm. If an orgasm occurs, you want it to be a total surprise. If you are thinking about having an orgasm, you need to slow down, relax, and redirect your thoughts. You do not want your brain to know you are about to have an orgasm.
You probably will not experience orgasm the very first or first few times so do not try to. Just enjoy the pleasures of touching yourself. If you get to a point where you suddenly find your body is super tense, you are trying too hard. Try to enjoy yourself, not orgasm. You want to surprise yourself with an orgasm. If you feel yourself on the verge of orgasm, but cannot, you are probably trying too hard; you cannot force your body to have an orgasm. The more you concentrate on trying to have an orgasm, the less likely you are to have one.
Clitoral Stimulation
Using your hands and fingers, stimulate (rub, stroke, pinch, etc) the clitoris with one or more fingers or the palm of your hand. Some find direct contact with the clitoris too intense, and prefer stimulation near or around the clitoris. Others prefer to have a layer of clothing or some other fabric between the hand and clit. Try it both ways and see what works best for you.
G-Spot Stimulation
Inserting a vibrator or dildo into the vagina can help locate and stimulate your G-Spot and offers a feeling of fullness in the vagina. You can locate your G-spot with your fingers, but it's difficult to provide adequate stimulation through manual masturbation. Women who enjoy stimulation of the G-spot usually employ sexual toys to make it easier and more enjoyable.
Vibrators
Vibrators are used primarily for clitoral stimulation, though many women also use them for vaginal or anal stimulation. They also may be combined with other toys and used in any number of positions. A good, discrete alternative to a vibrator for clitoral or anal stimulation is a massage wand. However, massage wands cannot be used for vaginal or anal penetration. To check out a wide selection of sex toys, please check our sex toy store, Best Sex Toy Review.
Common, Everyday Objects
Rub your clitoris against any soft, non-abrasive object (e.g., a pillow, the corner of a couch, etc.) and see if you enjoy the stimulation it provides.
Showers
A detachable showerhead can be quite scintillating for just about any woman. The best shower available is the ones with the versatile control that switches the water from a steady stream to a pulsating jet spray. In hot tubs, avoid sending strong streams of water into the vagina; this can cause fatal air embolism.
;)
Anal Stimulation
The anus is quite sensitive to touch and many women enjoy stimulation of this area during masturbation or partner sex play. You can experiment on this highly erogenous area with your fingers or anal toys such as anal beads and anal dildos (better known as butt plugs).
Conclusion
In closing, there is no right way to masturbate and there is no specific number of times you should do it per week. As long as you feel comfortable with the frequency at which you masturbate and the pleasure it provides you, then keep on doing it. Masturbation is normal and should be pleasurable, so find out what you like the best and then show your partner, when you find one, how they can please you properly.
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( 2.5 / 4729 )Thursday, March 9, 2006, 10:02 AM
;)
This article will explore the world of threesomes: what kinds of people participate and why, some of the different types of threesomes, and its advantages and disadvantages.
Who Wants to be Part of a Threesome?
People pursue threesomes for various reasons. First, the most common, are men who are looking to fulfill the fantasy of being with two women at the same time, especially if the women perform bisexual acts during the course of the threesome, otherwise known as “show time”. ? There are also women who want to experience being with two men at the same time (which is not as uncommon as you might think).
Furthermore, there are those looking to experiment, usually during college years (otherwise known as the “experimental years”), or those who have recently been divorced after being married for a lot of years, particularly those who married at a very young age. They may have missed out on the experimental years when they were younger, so they look to make up for it later in life.
Lastly, there are very sexual men and women who are looking for more variety and merely want and need more than the typical “one on one” sex act - at least once in a while.
Why Would Someone Initiate a Threesome?
A man or woman might be looking to please their partner by fulfilling his/her fantasies or bi-curious tendencies, and so agrees to a threesome with another person. Of course, there is the bisexual person who is simply looking for that occasional excitement of a threesome.
For many bisexual women, having sex with a man is like having dinner … dinner is something you have every night. However, having sex with a woman is like having dessert … something you don’t necessarily have every night, but something you may treat yourself to on occasion!
Swingers (who are now referred to as people who live alternative lifestyles) will often enjoy any kind of an orgy, including threesomes. So a swinger would definitely have reason to initiate a threesome. Also, a person who is looking for a lot of attention and wants to be the so-called “meat in the sandwich” is a prime candidate for initiating a threesome.
Different types of threesomes
The most common threesome is that of a man and two women. The second most common threesome is a woman with two men. However, there are threesomes consisting of the same sex (i.e. 3 men or 3 women). There are also the threesomes that include bisexuality, and then there are those that don’t; some just want to experience their partner in a physically intimate situation with another person.
Advantages and Disadvantages of Threesomes
For very sexual people, or for those who are bi-curious, a threesome can genuinely be an electrifying experience. However, for those who are agreeing to a threesome solely for the purpose of pleasing their partner (but who are not really into it), there can be repercussions.
A very common example of a negative experience is of a spouse or a partner in a serious relationship, where there is LOVE involved, with the very real potential of jealousy affecting the ongoing relationship. As much as you may want to fulfill your partner’s fantasy because you love him or her, beware…….this is not an easy task when you are in love. Even for the most sexual people, love creates problems when it comes to threesomes, and even if you are bisexual and want to have a threesome for selfish reasons, it can still be very difficult for you to see your loved one participating in a sexual act with someone other than yourself.
However, if you are not in love with your partner and may just be having a sexual fling with that person, then a threesome can be simply orgasmic, because you can enjoy the excitement without the jealously, and if bisexuality is involved, you can also benefit from the best of both worlds!
So far I’ve been primarily focusing on the couple. Now let’s talk about the outsider, the “guest”. Being the outsider in a threesome is probably the best position to be in (no pun intended), because there is no love or emotion involved, you are there exclusively for the sex act. In most cases, the guest gets treated like a princess or a prince (as mentioned earlier, the meat in the sandwich), because the guest is the source of exhilaration and variety for the couple. Many times the guest is the couple’s fantasy come true, and that’s a pleasing feeling for the outsider. So, if you like a lot of attention, and if you like to fulfill other people’s fantasies, definitely consider being the guest in a threesome. ?
The most common difficulty in being the guest in a threesome is when he or she is participating with a couple who has never had a threesome together previously; especially if you are a female guest of a couple in which the wife or girlfriend is not bisexual or bi-curious, and the husband or boyfriend tries to push a bisexual act on his partner when she’s really not into it! It really puts the female guest in a very uncomfortable situation. This can easily cause an argument between the partners.
In some cases one partner will start to get jealous watching his or her partner making love with another person, which obviously results in making it a distressing situation for everyone involved. I’ve literally seen wives end up in tears and couples end up not talking or fighting. Needless to say, the guest ends up feeling responsible.
Initiating the Topic with your Partner
First of all, as I’ve emphasized earlier, if your partner is your spouse or someone you are truly in love with………my advice is, “Don’t even consider it!” If you are adamant about sharing this particular fantasy with your loved one, I may have a happy medium for you … keep it as a fantasy only, but share it with your partner. In other words, during sex with your partner you can initiate sex talk about threesomes. Be honest and ask your partner to participate in the sex talk as well, and ask him or her to make up stories for you too, stories consisting of the two of you with a third person. That way you’re always including your partner in your fantasy, without the repercussions that can occur from actually doing it. Your partner may even surprise you and end up being more turned on then you could have imagined. He or she may even have a few fantasies of his or her own to share with you, via sex talk. I sincerely suggest that you take my advice on this matter, as I’ve seen threesomes backfire way too many times with married couples or couples in a serious relationship! Trust me, you don’t want to learn the hard way, it can end your marriage or a wonderful relationship, and a threesome is simply not worth that. So, consider keeping your threesomes just between the two of you!
Now, on the flip side, for couples who are not married or necessarily in love, or who are absolutely sure that pursuing a threesome will not jeopardize their relationship … you can initiate a conversation with your partner suggesting such. First of all, honesty about your desires is the best policy, but keep in mind that this is a very delicate topic and must be treated as such … with great discretion.
You must first use common sense. I don’t know your partner, but you do! Is he or she the type who might participate in such? Is he or she a very sexual person? Is he or she one who has been known to experiment sexually? Has he or she ever talked about fantasies with you? Has he or she ever expressed being bi-curious? All of these questions are essential in determining whether or not your partner should be asked to participate in a threesome.
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As a hypothetic example: Suppose your partner is a woman who teaches elementary school, who was a virgin until she was 25 years old, and you are only the second man she’s ever had sex with in her entire life; with someone like her, I suggest that you forget the idea of a threesome, limit it to sex talk. Unless, she’s the total opposite in bed, which is rare, but it does occur on occasion. So, if you have a real wild card on your hands in bed, then that’s a horse of a different color. Otherwise, don’t pursue a threesome with her, unless you’re prepared for the possibility of the relationship ending, or at least starting a huge fight.
Now, once you’ve truly found a potential partner to approach, suggest a threesome while you’re already engaging in sex. The chance of hearing the answer you want to hear is much more likely to happen if you ask him or her while he or she is already hot!!! There’s no right or wrong way to suggest a threesome. It truly depends on the people involved and the relationship you have. My only advice is that if and when you do propose it to your partner, make it perfectly clear that your desire for the threesome is not in any way, shape, size, or form, a result of your partner being inadequate! So, please be careful and make sure that you emphasize that it’s just a sexual fantasy, and that it wouldn’t be same without him or her.
Fortunately, most women are well aware that the overwhelming majority of men would give their right arm to be with two women at the same time. ? However, men, on the other hand, tend to find it difficult to understand why a woman would want a threesome with another man. Women, you have to be especially cautious, because men can be so much more insecure than they admit they are. So, when you do suggest it to your man, you might want to tell him that you are simply an extremely sexual woman (which alone will turn him on) and that you have many sexual fantasies (which will excite him even more), but you have no desire to fulfill any of them without him. That will boost his ego, which will hopefully help him see your suggestion of a threesome from a different prospective, a non-threatening one.
Selecting a Third Party
There are pros and cons in choosing a friend or a stranger. On one hand, you would probably feel more comfortable with someone you know - but on the other hand, you’re taking the chance of possibly ruining that friendship if complications or jealousy arise. Even if the threesome turns out to be successful, it may still make all parties involved feel uncomfortable in the future if it was with a good friend. (Note: I would advise, whether you invite a friend or a stranger to join you, that you’ll still take the same safety precautions.)
So, I do not recommend a threesome with a friend! An acquaintance, however, is a different story. There are some very attractive, clean, well-educated, successful people out there who happen to be very sexual. Just because they are not already a friend of yours doesn’t mean that they are not worthy of being your third person in a threesome.
As far as having a threesome more than once with the same person is concerned, again I would have to say it really depends on the people. It depends if the couple is secure enough, if the third party is non-threatening in any way, and whether or not this is something the couple initially wanted to do it as a one-time experience or if this is something the couple planned to do on a somewhat regular basis. These are topics that simply cannot be generalized, because every situation is different. I’ve had my share of one-time affairs as the guest that worked out great. Yet, I’ve also known various couples throughout the years that I would spend time with regularly, and that worked too. So, you really have to see where the first experience takes you, and all three parties obviously must want the same thing. If the experience was great and there was no jealousy involved, especially if the guest is not a good friend, I would definitely go for it again! So, it truly depends on the circumstances.
Where to Find a Third?
A swing club is a great source to find others who are looking to experiment and fulfill fantasies; they are still out there (although perhaps not as many as there were years ago). To find swing clubs, simply go to any search engine and type the words, “swing club”, once you bypass some of the swing dancing sites, you’ll see many sites that actually refer to sex clubs. Another option is the Personals on the Internet; they too are a great means for finding someone for a threesome. The Internet Personals are not only designed for couples looking for love, they are usually broken down into categories, so you can search for what you are specifically looking for. You can also exchange various photos online first, and you can chat via email or telephone until you feel comfortable enough to meet. Do NOT go to a regular bar or night club and try to pick up someone who you think might be a likely candidate. That’s a really good way to very possibly embarrass yourself, not to mention, get slapped! ?
What's a good place for a threesome?
This is probably the easiest question to answer, and that is … wherever is most convenient for all parties involved. It seems to be more common for the couple to entertain the third person in their home. However, it certainly wouldn’t be the first time that a couple would travel to the third person’s home to be entertained, especially when the couple have children. I guess you can meet at a hotel, but from my many experiences, that’s not too common. Unless, of course, you’re at a swing club, which is the exception to the rule. Now, that can be a really exciting venue for a threesome, or a foursome, or fivesome, etc…. ?
Conclusion
Try not to participate in a threesome with someone you are in love with, or if you know that either of you become jealous easily. Instead, explore some new exciting things that just the two of you can do together in the bedroom, including sex talk about threesomes.
For those of you who are not in love and/or who are planning a threesome for the right reasons, but it’s your first time and have absolutely no clue as to what to do…….believe me, most of it will come naturally! Most times, it’s not planned, it just happens.
One option of a threesome is to make one person the star, and let that person lay back while the other two devour him or her, making the person who is receiving at the time feel like a real prince or a princess! A great idea for a birthday present too! ? However, it’s nice to take turns receiving and giving, so that everyone gets a turn to be a prince or a princess.
A crucial rule is to make sure that no one gets left out!!! Too often a spouse gives more attention to the guest than his or her partner … no, no, no. Trust me; always make sure your partner gets just as much attention as the guest does! Not doing so can literally end a marriage. An easy solution is to take turns in giving and receiving, as mentioned earlier, and be aware of how much time you spend on the guest, because when it’s your partner’s turn to be the prince or princess you want to make sure that he or she receives the same amount of time, maybe even a little more.
The beauty of a threesome, especially when bi-sexuality is a part of it, is that each participant can almost always be giving and receiving at all times. It’s an incredibly hot experience that I believe everyone should consider trying … at least once in their life!
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( 2.9 / 2735 )Monday, March 6, 2006, 04:53 PM
Hi, guys! Today I wanted to discuss using photos in personal ads. So here are some tips to remember when using photo personals and internet dating services:
- Always add a photo to your profile
- Take a lot of photos and use the best
- Buy a digital camera for its versatility and it helps reduce the cost in the long run. Its fun too.
- Ensure the photos are recent
- Ensure you are smiling in them or at least presenting the best image
- Try and keep the photo file size down
- Ensure the photo is bright and clear
- Ensure it is an accurate portrait of you now
- Add more than one photo if possible and swap periodically
- Don't add revealing sexy shots
- Try to avoid web cam shots which are grainy
- If you don't want to use a photo start to think about your levels of self confidence and appearance and how things can be altered
- Remember that photo personals are very popular
If You want to share your own tip or to discuss mine please leave a comment!
Thanks
Dalila
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